Already got asked if we're dating
I'm jealous of your bromance
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
