it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
