ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I need water and some morals
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