It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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