I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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