Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
