She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
