He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize