We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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