I want to stick my p in your. b.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
