google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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