i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
