why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
