I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
