You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
