If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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