I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
