you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
