whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
