After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize