We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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