I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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