i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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