so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize