this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
