U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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