You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize