dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
