she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
