lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
