remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize