She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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