Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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