So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
