I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize