At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
