ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
