It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I could fuck to npr.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
