the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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