Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
