I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
