I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize