I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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