sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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