he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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