I hate your face
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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