Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drake has all the answers
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize