ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
