My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
