Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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