boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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