Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
