Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Randomize