it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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