so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
