Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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