Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
