I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
