i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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